Das Tagebuch

Well Journal, I'm sick. I'm really sick...in fact, I don't think I've been this sick in awhile. I've been to the hospital once today, and now I'm in the clinic, alone, I've just had tests done. It hurts, I hurt...I wish they would stop, and instead of making me feel worse by doing this to me, I wish they'd just make me better so I can go home and be with Dante and Bee.
I'm ruining their lives by being this way...I know it. Who wants to live with somebody like me like this anyways...? I don't allow any plans to be carried out...I'm just miserable. I'm afraid Dante won't love me anymore w hen I'm like this, and it scares me.
He complained about it earlier, he wanted me to go get this done.. so here I am.
I'm so afraid...what if I'm going to die...? What if I've relapsed? I hate to even mention that, but...but what if this is it? What if this is all the time I have? I never got to marry Dante, I never got to travel with him, or make love with him on our last anniversary. I never gave him all his kisses, I never made him proud to be with me...I never helped him gain all his dreams, and allow them to come true. I don't think I've made him happy...so this can't be it. Not now, not yet, I still have to do so much, I have to take care of Dante. I'm not leaving him, I can't let him down...
Please, if anybody can help, or pray, please do...I need help. I need help badly, this just can't be happening to me...I'm so afraid of it, I can't and won't have it. I love Dante too much.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You
Vanilla You Are Vanilla Ice Cream Your personality is anything but "vanilla" You're a risk taker, who's up for anything new. You go well with anyone and fit into any situation. You are most compatible with rocky road ice cream.
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How will you die? (25 possibilities)
Mugged, raped and shot by midget street gang. You thought they were cute. You just wanted to meet one, to let him know you feel his pain, to tell him to keep fighting the good fight. What you got instead was ambushed by a horde of them. They took your shoes, your watch, your jewelry and your money. A few of them held you down. They were incredibly strong! Some of them kicked and beat you while others inserted things much larger than you would expect a midget's penis to be into your rectum. You bled profusely. And after they were done with you, they tagged you (Southside Midgie Crew) and mercifully ended the indignity by bustin' a cap in your ass, beeyotch.
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Which Stomach are You?
Beer Belly Your a Beer Belly, why have a 6 pack when you can have a keg! your the life of the party!!
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Which STD are you?
Herpes You are genital Herpes, a virus that causes rash and itchy blisters. You seem to go away, but always keep coming back. You are a very annoying illness.
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What type of parent will you become?
caring, agreeing, and accepting. You are a terrific parent. You listen and compromise, make plans and accept differences. You teach morals, but don't pressure your religion on him or her, because it is their decision.
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What Does Your Wanted Poster Say?
THE WESTCHESTER GANG OF CLEVELAND The Westchester Gang of Cleveland is wanted in 7 counties across three states.
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Which Animal Are You? (pictures and reasons)
Alien
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Which Breed Of Horse Is Your Soal Mate?
Andalusion You love late night rides with your horse, you bring happiness to eachother and if one of you fails, the other will always help you succed.
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You Are Samuel Adams

You're fairly easy to please when it comes to beer - as long as it's not too cheap. You tend to change favorite beers frequently, and you're the type most likely to take a "beers of the world" tour. When you get drunk, you're fearless. You lose all your inhibitions. You're just as likely to party with a group of strangers as you are to wake up in a very foreign place.

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.