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Its the end of the world as we know it
I've...never been so depressed in my life. I"ve never been so drunk. I've never been so...drunkenly...sick...and miserable. Ugh...I feel awful in every way I possibly could and I just...I honestly want it to end. I just want peace, all I ever wanted was peace.
Everything bad happens...all at once and now I'm just lost as to wh at to do. I know Dante hates me. After all that time keeping me in the house 'for my own good'- he just randomly started using heroin again. He beat people up, got thrown in jail and then he sold me for his stupid drug and...he said after he got out that it wasn't true but then if it wasn't true how come the guy who 'bought' access to me came to me and told me that? He did bad things to me...he touched me and he hurt me and all Dante can do is deny the fact that it happened. Now he wants to talk about it...and honestly...I don't think I can. Thinking about it makes me sick.
We lost our house...we lost Bee, or I did...I blame myself there..fully. Hell, I blame myself for all of this. If I died and didn't cost money because I had cancer then Dante would still have his dream house and his kid and everything he wanted. I am just in the way...I know I am. He doesn't love me...he can't. I am thinking of going home...just going home to Germany. I'll live out my life with my mother and...just be alone. I wanted life to work out so bad...I wanted so much and I still do but it seems so impossible...we're compleatly broke and I can't help...I can't do anything. I'm here in a clinic now again because I guess I got sick. I was just drinking to try and relax and I woke up here. Dante's not here...he's nowhere...I bet he left me. Again. I bet he sold me to science...my body. He hates me. And he'll hate me even more once he finds out what Dave did...and how ruined I am.I think he wants to know so he has a good reason to use to just leave...I don't want him to go though...I don't want it to end. I"m going to die the second it does...I can pretend like I'll be okay but I know I won't be. I know I'm not. I just keep thinking about ending it...the only thing keeping me alive is Dante. He's the only real reason I do all I do anymore...
I love life...or...well I did...but how can I if this is how it will be?
<td align="center">Your walk is:
<td align="center">
Flik --
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drunkEverything bad happens...all at once and now I'm just lost as to wh at to do. I know Dante hates me. After all that time keeping me in the house 'for my own good'- he just randomly started using heroin again. He beat people up, got thrown in jail and then he sold me for his stupid drug and...he said after he got out that it wasn't true but then if it wasn't true how come the guy who 'bought' access to me came to me and told me that? He did bad things to me...he touched me and he hurt me and all Dante can do is deny the fact that it happened. Now he wants to talk about it...and honestly...I don't think I can. Thinking about it makes me sick.
We lost our house...we lost Bee, or I did...I blame myself there..fully. Hell, I blame myself for all of this. If I died and didn't cost money because I had cancer then Dante would still have his dream house and his kid and everything he wanted. I am just in the way...I know I am. He doesn't love me...he can't. I am thinking of going home...just going home to Germany. I'll live out my life with my mother and...just be alone. I wanted life to work out so bad...I wanted so much and I still do but it seems so impossible...we're compleatly broke and I can't help...I can't do anything. I'm here in a clinic now again because I guess I got sick. I was just drinking to try and relax and I woke up here. Dante's not here...he's nowhere...I bet he left me. Again. I bet he sold me to science...my body. He hates me. And he'll hate me even more once he finds out what Dave did...and how ruined I am.I think he wants to know so he has a good reason to use to just leave...I don't want him to go though...I don't want it to end. I"m going to die the second it does...I can pretend like I'll be okay but I know I won't be. I know I'm not. I just keep thinking about ending it...the only thing keeping me alive is Dante. He's the only real reason I do all I do anymore...
I love life...or...well I did...but how can I if this is how it will be?
| Flikkin - a gallon of intelligence - a scoop of romance - 1 1/2 cups of friendliness Blend together quickly and serve. | |
| 'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com | |
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| 'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
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