Das Tagebuch

Well I have a short bit of time here to write about a lot of things. So I'll just try and keep it short and to the point. Dante and I are together again, after his whole prison ordeal for taking heroin. We lost our house, and I had been with Rupi but now we're together and were living at Karma's house. He's a drug dealer- but we left, and now we are living with Ed who is a friend of Dante's. Thats all I know about him really- I don't know where he met him.
I had a good job for a couple of days too- a flower job, I stood around and arranged flowers all day, and sneezed. But, I got moved by one of the managers to the back after some old woman got mad at me. And then I had to sort garbage, which I guess Dante got mad about. I lost my job because of him...I don't think he wants me to work. He went in and punched my boss, and I got fired. This was all after Dante didn't wake me up for work like he always had and well...I guess I need to get up on my own. Otherwise he's not going to let me work. And he can't work- he's sick right now, again. I don't know whats wrong, he told me he has the flu and that he had some routine test a few days ago...but he's not right. He hasn't been 'right' since. So neither of us are working, and well...Bee is in the hospital. The little boy we had been watching. Well, apparently when I gave him to the social worker one night, it turns out that that wasn't the social worker. Now the /real/ social worker told me I have to probably stay away from Bee. And Bee is probably going to be staying with Dante, so I have to move out! I can't let Bee just go...and Dante loves him so much, anybody could see it. So I can't do that to either of them. The guy said if we lived in a apartment building I could live next door...but I couldn't be in the house with Dante if Bee was there. I don't know what I'm going to do...right now I"m at a loss. I feel so miserable and I don't want to be alone but thats just selfish of me I know it. So I should just do what verybody wants...because I don't want to be selfish- I want to be a good person I just don't know how to do anything right. I have to go talk to Rupi...or some other officer now...if I want a chance at ever changing this situation. This means I'll probably have a criminal record...and then I'll never get a job. I have no talent, so I can't just go sing and dance and make lots of money like Dante. I'm just some stupid fat person who just...sits around and does nothing but make everything worse. I know it because it happens...every day. I really wish I just died back then when I should have...I know I shouldn't be alive, and its for a reason. I'm just in the way- thats all. Dante doesn't really need me...I wish he did but what he needs is his job, his music, his career and his friends and then Bee. I just don't fit in with any of this...I really don't. Maybe I'll just run away and never come back...I wasn't doing anybody any harm when I lived alone and I just went to school...which is what I really want to do anyways. But with a criminal record with kids why would they take me back into a school? I'm so stupid! I'll never be anything!

Our third anniversary never happened this year...I don't think Dante wants to marry me anymore. I don't think he ever did.

Because you keep stealing your co-workers lunch from the fridge, you'll be cursed with life on the run.
'How will you be cursed and why?' at QuizGalaxy.com

<td> <table border="0" width="450" bgcolor="#000000">

As a child...	You were dressed up as the wrong sex
How did it mess you up?	You go to support group meetings just because
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

</td>
</table>
<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Your life most resembles: General Hospital Your life mostly resembles those of the characters on General Hospital. Although you can be melodramatic at times, you lead a fairly normal life. You love to hear gossip, but you are not much of a spreader. Your friends love you because you are reliable and extra fun to be around.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com