Das Tagebuch

Times like these tend to drag on...

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:20:43 GMT

I feel like I'm getting depressed again...I haven't felt this way in awhile, not this bad. I thought all would be ok now that we moved, now that we had space, but its not the case. Dante and I even were able to be together...and it was beautiful, but everything else is still there. I feel like I don't belong here...I feel like I'm hated, by everybody. Ed yells at me a lot...he says mean things to me. Dante is snappy with me today and now I'm working for our new neighbor and he got really mad at me. I was late...for work. Its my fault this happened...I know it is, I thought I would be understood. But I wasn't...I dont' know. Everything is so foggy right now for me...I wish I could tell Dante I don't want to work there. I don't like James, there is something bad about him. I feel really uncomfortable...and when he showed up early today and got very mad at me, he wasn't even supposed to have been home. But he was...
I feel like I'm not safe there. But Dante likes him...and I don't want to draw him away from a new friend. Maybe James just doesn't like me. Either way, hopefully tomorrow he wont' be there I'm going to just work very fast then go. In the mean time, I'm home now taking care of Dante. He had his teeth taken out and he's on drugs so he needs lots of help. Its not a good time to talk to him now...so I think maybe when he's not on drugs I'll tell him I want my job back at the clothes place...and maybe I want to not live in this house either. Maybe I just really want us to not live by James...or a funeral home. I don't know what I want. It doesn't matter so much I guess. I guess I'm going to just have to get used to this life out here. I wanted this so bad for so long and now that we have it, well I'm not happy...no, I feel sick to my stomach. I need to talk to somebody...

Flik --

[adjective]:

Fuzzy to the touch

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Flik's Past Lives

1077 BC: A farmer

792 AD: A Nun

1941 AD: A pirate

'What were you in your past lives?' at QuizGalaxy.com


	Flikkin beat up the President and declared themselves the new dictator of America.
	... afterward, Flikkin ate some macaroni and cheese.
	'How will you be remembered in history books?' at QuizGalaxy.com

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

What does your future hold?
	You will eat lots of cheese

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

<td align="center"> Flik's lame-ass excuse to break up:

"I was really just in love with your pants the whole time"

'What is your lame-ass excuse to break up?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


	Flik Pills: Will cause severe horniness
	'What effect do you have on people?' at QuizGalaxy.com

As a child...	You were horrified watching Snow White and had recurring nightmares of the witch

How did it mess you up?	You have two drawers full of fake bling
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

</td>
</table>

Kein subject

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:22:54 GMT

Quiz day...

What type of gay guy in relationships are ya?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Playful One

You can sure make things fun! From going dancing to painting the city red, you make sure life is constantly full of adventure with your boyfriend. You always want to do stuff with the squeeze you know and love, and would prefer something to do that doesn't deal with just watching television. You prefer spontaneously acting on feelings, not planning out a slow evening. All in all, life won't be boring with you!

Perfect Couple Material

90%

The Playful One

90%

The Main Guy

60%

Submissive

50%

Romantic

50%

Bachelor

40%

Sex Crazed

What kind of guy attracts you most? (13 profiles)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Emo/Goth

These guy's are easier to communicate with in general they are understanding and given they aren't just this way as mainstream trend they are excellent for converation and just hanging out, but they have very frequent dark spells, that you can either join in or ignore, cheering up really isn't an option. Good luck, you have your work cut out for you.

Romantic/Sensitive

90%

Emo/Goth

90%

Mysterious

67%

The Player

60%

The Jock

60%

Country Boy

60%

Rocker

50%

Thug/Bad Boy

40%

Punk

30%

Clean cut/Prep

30%

Gamer

23%

Funny Guy

10%

Intellectual

10%

How are you about sex? (with pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Awkward/New

Your new at sex or maybe a little awkward. Your not sure what to do so you ask your partner for advice. You feel sorry for what you do because your not used to it or maybe you just don't know whats good or bad.

Please rate and comment and tell me what quiz this is when you do!

Awkward/New

100%

Shy/Sweet

85%

Soft/slow

75%

Passionate/wet

65%

Hot/hard

20%

Exciting/Exotic

what type of underwear are you?(pictures) ;p
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as thrillie

you are fun but still modest!

thrillie

80%

plain whities

30%

V-string

30%

Are you a seme or an uke? (a quiz for yaoi fans)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Uke

You are the cute, adorable UKE just waiting to be voilated

Uke

69%

Uke

65%

Seme

17%

Seme

15%

sigh...I'm bored

these days.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:56:27 GMT

Well things have been busy, as usual. I've had little time to write up journals, but thankfully now I have a moment. A lot has been going on. I Don't really know where to start either. After my whole deportion ordeal, things have kinda hit rock bottom between Dante and I. I don't know if it could get worse...and I couldn't tell you why its so bad either. We have no communication, and I'm not saying its just his fault either, its a lot my own. I don't really feel like he cares about me either, its confusing. Sure, he takes care of me, very well too, but he takes care of Ed and Bee and Dori too. Just the same way he does for me...and plus he spends more time with Ed, and makes jokes with Ed where I'm the one the joke is about. Its not very nice, in fact I feel really hurt by it. I keep telling him, but he never does anything about it beyond tell me that Ed is sick and I should not be bothered by their teasing. So I guess this means he thinks I'm in the wrong by feeling hurt when they do mean things to me. Maybe I am, maybe they have every right to tease me tell I feel worse about myself...I don't know. So I moved out...
I just felt like I needed to seperate with Dante for awhile, give him time with Ed and everybody else...because I feel in the way anyways and like me requesting anything out of him is a burden. Like our getting married...I brought it up, and then he went off and guilt-tripped me about how we can't if we have Bee. I know we cant' get rid of Bee...so this means we won't be married. So I guess we're no longer engaged.
I bought him a house...with a lot of room for all his friends, and for us...assuming I move back in. I just want him happy, really, I don't want to make him upset or sad.
I don't know what I will do now...but things are kind of at a stand-still...I feel sick now. I don't know why...my belly hurts. Must be the food I ate. Hm...I think I'll do some quizzes now...

Cocky
This guy is a cocky one. Full of attitude. You should watch your back around him, he may seem nice at times, but that can change in an instance. I'd hate to use the term player, but keep it in mind. As long as his needs are met, you're not worth much. This guy crush seems to be due to infatuation, because his personality isn't five stars. Even if your heart says he's worth it, your head tells you otherwise.

Your results:
You are The Flash

The Flash		80%
Superman		70%
Spider-Man		65%
Robin		62%
Catwoman		45%
Supergirl		40%
Batman		35%
Green Lantern		35%
Iron Man		30%
Hulk		20%
Wonder Woman		10%

Fast, athletic and flirtatious.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

The SEME or UKE Quiz
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Optimistic UKE

You are the kindest, most sweet, and cutest of all UKE kind. This is not really a bad thing, actually it's very good. You may be the lowest level of UKE but you are also the happiest and most adorable. You are often a fan of things you can snuggle with and cartoons will never grow boring for you. You smile a lot and nothing ever seems to get you down which makes you a great match for the Gentle SEME. Be warned, though, my Uke-friend.. rough times await you if a Homicidal SEME lingers too close. You would do well to befriend a Sorrowful UKE as I'm sure your happy-go-lucky attitude will balance out their depression. On my last note I will say that ropes, whips, and chains aren't your fancies even if they are tempting - I'd stick to just the simple stuff if I were you.

The Optimistic UKE

90%

The Gentle SEME

80%

The Breaker SEME

65%

The Sorrowful UKE

35%

The Devilish UKE

20%

The Homicidal SEME

15%

What pokemon are you like?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Eevee

You are Eevee. You are a small pokemon. You are also my favorite pokemon. You have 7 evolutions.

Poliwag

83%

Eevee

83%

Psyduck

50%

Pikachu

33%

Primeape

Back home and such

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 03:27:59 GMT

Yep, Back home, things are ok, pretty calm and lazy actually.
I'm going to take a quiz now, just for fun! Nothing better to do, seeing as I've had to stay home....I was sick for awhile, but I feel much better now! I just have to sit here...and I'm bored.

My life according to Google*

1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:

flik needs talent

- that makes me sad =( its not very nice.

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:

Flik appears to be everything we'd hoped it would be

-Yay!

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:

Flik does find bugs but not warriors instead the bugs he found are circus bugs.

- wow...

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:

Atta doesn't exactly care for Flik's zany ideas, and grows to hate him when he accidentally spills the offering for the grasshoppers

-noooo

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search:

Flik goes off to talk with Vik and starts stripping

-Ah! NEver!

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:

Flik loves dick

- O_O

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:

Flik eats his words

-Oh dear

8:Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:

FLIK has a nibblers section that includes hamburgers, cheeseburgers, French fries, onion rings, mozzarella sticks, chicken wings, grilled chicken, ...

-now I'm hungry.

9: Type in "[your name] died" in Google Search:

Flik died January 22, 2008. He was 33 years old.

-Noo thats scary, not nice.

10: Type in "[your name] will" in Google search:

Flik will balance perfectly as is.

-aww yay, thats something I can look forwards to.

Now...I think I'll try it for Dante! shh, don't tell!

Dante's according to Google*

1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:

Dante needs a more powerful guide, who represents faith, the divine gift that infinitely surpasses reason

-Wow...hope I can live up to that.

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:

dante looks like a woman anyway

-No he does not! He looks like a good man!

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:

Dante does it

- For me he does ^-^;

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:

Dante Hates Your Job

- but...I don't have one =(

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search:

Dante goes to church

-Does he really?

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:

dante loves the big bathtub!!

- aw I know! sweetie!

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:

Dante eats shrooms and trips out man!

-Nooo ;-;

8:Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:

Dante has been the most positive out of everyone.

-aww thats my boy!

9: Type in "[your name] died" in Google Search:

Dante died in his sleep of internal hemorrhaging caused by a bleeding ulcer on May 25, 1975.

-STOOOP NO!!! ;-; now I'm all crying!

10: Type in "[your name] will" in Google search:

DANTE WILL NEVER DIE!!!

-Thats exactly how I feel!!!

Schuss!

Deutschland ist wo ich bin.

Fri, 16 May 2008 19:22:06 GMT

Well here I am...in Berlin. Still in Germany for those of you who don't know of 'Berlin.' I've been here nearly two weeks now and I've been miserable the majority of it. I'm so tired...and worn out in every way. But Dante's here now, he came for me, which was something I never would have dreamed he would be capable of doing or wanting to do. But he is here, and he says he will get me home some how. I believe him too, I have to.
Either way, we're here and we're currently busy so I can't type much, So, I'll update more later! I promise. Hopefully from home...yes, New York is refered to as my home to me now. =)

Deported

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:05:54 GMT

Yes, thats right. I was deported. Randomly. I was having a wonderful day with Dante, things felt great...then they came and took me away and now I didn't have a chance to fight to be able to stay with him. I just got taken away and now I'm in a plane on my way to Germany...the Berlin Flughafen. I feel so...so dazed right now. I don't know if its real or if its a dream...a nightmare. Am I really gone? I didn't get to say goodbye to him...what will I do if I can't get back to the U.S.A? Dante won't come for me...he can't come to Deutschland...he's afraid of a plane. He wouldn't come for me. He wouldn't pick up the phone to say goodbye. I feel like my heart can't hurt anymore...its broken, its shattered...I dont know how to live without him. I can't do it. I can't even stop thinking about him and how I want him to wake me up, I don't care if he tickles me into waking, he always does, I already miss that. I miss his smile, his eyes, his hair...his touch. I miss him so bad I hurt all over.

--LAYER ONE--

Spell your first name with animals

Flamingo
Lamb
Iguana
Kiwi
Kitten
Impala
Newt

--LAYER TWO--
Full name: Flikkin Adamski Witzenburge
Birthday: May 10th 1989
Nickname: Flik, Muffin
Location: Germany
Eye Color: Brown
Natural Hair Color: Brown
Right or left: Left

--LAYER THREE--

Shoes you wore today: I didn't
Your perfect pizza: I'm not too picky.
Best holiday: Valentines Day
Best Missed Memory: I should have accepted Dante's suggestion to make cookies this morning...

--LAYER FOUR--

How many pets do you have: 2
If you could go anywhere in the world where it be?: New York...never thought I'd say that.
The last movie you saw at cinemas: I don't remember it, its been a year ago or so.
Who you went with: Erin

--LAYER FIVE--

Pepsi or Coke: Coke a Cola
McDonald's or Taco bell: Mcdonalds
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Brisk: I like both
Chocolate or Vanilla: Both at the same time.

--LAYER SIX--

Do you curse: No
Do you sing: Sometimes.
Get motion sickness: I think so.
Get along with your parents: Not right now
Play an instrument: No.

--LAYER SEVEN--

In the past month have you..
Gone to the mall: Yes
Eaten an entire pizza: Probably
Been on stage: No
Gone skating: Yes
Made homemade cookies: Yes

--LAYER EIGHT--

Have you ever...
Been in big trouble with your parents?: Yes
Lied about your age: Yes
Used a fake ID?: No

--LAYER NINE--

Age you hope to be married: Just before its too late.
Number of Children: One

--LAYER TEN--

In a man or woman...
Best eye color: Grey
Best hair color: Black
Age: 21
Height: 6 foot something...just tall.

--LAYER ELEVEN--

Number of people you can trust: Almost everybody really.
Number of tattoos: One
Number of piercings: none.

70 Odd Questions

70 Odd Questions
What is your middle name?
Adamski

What color is your mailbox?
Purple

Are you single?
No

Have you ever hit a deer?
no, I dont' hit anybody.

Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
Depends on which way I'm going home. I can't drive though, so I walk or I take a taxi.

What color is your room?
I think our room is white.

Do you have a small driveway?
we don't have a drive way.

Do you know anyone with the same ringtone as you?
Nope.

What do you do first in the morning?
Cuddle Dante.

What brand is your printer?
I don't have one.

Do you enjoy fighting with people?
Never.

Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Naturally messy...I guess its straight-wavy

Who was your kindergarten teacher?
Frau Vogel

What is your ringtone?
Its a kitty noise.

Are you taller than your mom?
Maybe by a half inch.

What curse word do you say the most when your pissed?
None.

Are you God?
What? No.

Do you like someone?
I like a lot of people...and I love one.

Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
Yes, they are pretty.

Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My Stomach does a little.

Do you often cry during a movie?
Yes usually.

Last phone call you received?
I didn't get any...

Last text message?
I don't get those.

Do you hate your life?
Right now I'm considering hating it.

Do you get mad easily?
No not really.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
Bad table manners.

Are you cold?
Nope.

Do any of your friends have kids?
Astev has one. I don't think anybody else does.

Do you know anyone that is pregnant right now?
Dante says he is. But he's just so silly...

Who should pay on the first date?
Me.

How many years older than you are you willing to date?
I dont date, unless its going out with Dante.

Do you have any friends?
Yah, some, Astev, Rupi, Yata, Gragle, Jay and some other people.

Do you have any mean friends?
Mean friends? No...

What is the ugliest color to wear in your opinion?
Orange. Ewww.

Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hate?
Yah, sometimes they don't like Dante.

Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff, seriously?
no!

Have you ever contemplated suicide?
I used to...

Do you scratch your ears?
Sometimes when they have a itch.

Who was the last person to hug you?
Dante.

What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing right now?
I think its some just American brand...I don't know the name. they are not very comfortable.

How tall are you?
5"7

What is the closest green object?
My shirt.

If you were born the opposite sex, what would your parents name you?
Frauke- it means little lady.

Do you want to have kids?
Just the one we have.

What is the brightest color you're wearing?
Goldish yellow.

Who is the friend you have that you would never have expected to have?
Rupi is. He's a police man.

Who do you hate the most right now?
Myself.

What kind of car do you want?
I always liked convertables.

What is your favorite video game?
Mario brothers

Do you like your dad?
I loved him.

Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
No, nope.

Are you wearing make-up?
No...

Do you have a tattoo?
One on my tummy.

Have you ever broken a pinata?
Pinata? whats that?

What time is it right now?
17:02 Deutsche Zeit

Do you know how to draw?
I can, but I'm not that good.

Who loves orange soda?
I would like some.

Who did you last IM?
IM? Nobody.

Do you work a lot of hours?
Not right now.

Where were you in the last 24 hours?
Over seas. In jail, in a plane, in a airport.

Who was the last person that called you?
Nobody has yet.

Is there anything you regret?
So much...

Do you know where your family name originated from?
Yes, we're all German.

Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Cockroaches.

What is your favorite color ON A CAR?
Yellow is cute on Dante's car. But if I had a nice convertable I'd like it to be Purple.

Do you use digital or film cameras?
Digital camera...but I left it at home, all my stuff is at Dante's.

Do you own an iPod?
No.

Have you ever been on a charter bus?
For Soccer I have.

Do you like going to water parks?
I love swimming.

Serves me right for thinking money would change anything.

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 06:06:58 GMT

Hm...its true, money can't buy you love. I just thought me getting Dante more money would solve problems between us. He always wants to help his friends and he always wants things, so I just...well I thought he might be better if I gave it to him. We went through hell together to get it, and now that we have it all, nothing has changed. If it has, its gotten worse. I'm in such a horrible mood because of it too...that and other things that frustrate me.
I was exposed to Ed's blood, and he has HIV I guess, so I had to be tested. And instead of testing negative or positive, I tested 'negative' but with a possibility of it being too early to tell. So I have to take more pills, and I can't be with Dante at all still either. Oh, not to mention either of course I had a biopsy the other day and that too came back negative thankfully, but now my stupid spleen is all acting up. Could things just stop? I really want it to stop, I'm so frustrated and upset I could scream.
There is a lot more frustrating me too but...I don't know, I can't rant anymore.
Bee is back, which is good I'm guessing, means we won't be getting married. Dante does everything to avoid that...I am wondering if he'd notice if I took off the ring he gave me. I wonder if he'd notice if I went home...its been two years and he won't even take me on vacation. Maybe I need to go on one alone...Maybe I need to move out for awhile, give him space so he can think about what he really wants. I just have such a hard time because I love him so much. But what else am I supposed to do? I want him to do something for us...rather than Ed, or Bee or anybody. I'm so selfish I know, its horrible, but I've waited so long for my turn I am about ready to explode! I can only wait so long.

Out of New York.

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:06:55 GMT

We left New York for a trip out to my Aunt and Uncles. we'll be out here for a couple days- and there is a good reason for this, but a reason I don't exactly enjoy dwelling on. But we're safe, we've made sure some how we are. And Dante is here with me, as lovely as ever. After this he says we can maybe be married sooner...maybe even this year! I'm pretty excited! We can go on a vacation, on a honey moon- all the thinsg I've been dreaming about for so long...or at least since he proposed the first time nearly two years ago now. Can you believe it? I've never had anybody love me for so long...unconditionally...let alone somebody who is an etirely beautiful person, somebody I'd have fantisized over if I had met on the streets...he's so perfect for me. I really can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Heh, well I guess I needed to get that out of my system again.
Either way, good things are coming, despite all the bad recently. We had Ed staying with us, Dante's idea, and he's been there for weeks. But he is using drugs, heroin, around my Dante and this is not good. He overdosed one day when Dante was off with Pneumonia at the doctors (he was so sick! :( ) and I was very scared...it reminded me of when Dante was using and he first overdosed on heroin around me. I still can't sleep good...and I don't even know if Ed is okay yet. Its Dante's friend though, I think if Dante doesn't go visit him I will anyways because I dont' think anybody should have to spend endless nights alone in a hospital, I've done it and I know how depressing it can be.
But, aside from all this, I have great expectations for the near future! Yay!

One thing

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 06:34:19 GMT

This seemed amusing. I thought I might try it...then maybe some how talk Dante into trying it too. hehe! I'll update my journal later on, right now things are a bit busy.

Psychoanalyze Yourself; Don't read ahead, just answer the following questions with the first thought that comes to mind. Then read which each answer means at the end. (No cheating! )

1. You are walking in the woods. You are not alone. Who is with you?
Dante

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal?
A cute bunny

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
I'd pet it...maybe show Dante and then maybe we'd keep it as a pet.

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing, and before you is your dream house. what size is it?
Its like a cottage, a stone cottage. Maybe just two bedrooms, two bathrooms...not very big. We wouldn't need big...

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
Well...I don't see why we would need one if this is all our property...?

6. You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see the dining table, what is on it?
Food. Lots of food. Home cooked food like mashed potatoes and meat.

7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?
A Stein

8. What do you do with the cup?
take it inside...maybe ask Dante if its his.

9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at a body of water what is it?
The ocean, the Pacific maybe, I've never seen it before and I'd love to.

10. How will you cross the water?
In a big cruise ship...with Dante.

After you copy and paste into a new bulletin, and answer ALL the questions above you can look down here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
v

The ANSWERS

1. The person/people who you are walking in the woods with is/are the most important to you.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, candles or people, then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.

8. What you did with the cup is representative of your attitude.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.

10. The way you cross the water is representative to how easy or hard you expect your life to be.

Things

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:28:09 GMT

Felt like taking some quizzes.
I'm on probation- for Dante and Bee's sake and I'm booored out of my mind living on my own! Rupi comes by sometimes, but that is still not enough really. I'm lonely...and bored...and my shoulder hurts, but it will be better soon! Christmas is almost here! I've got to go shopping for Dante- once I feel better and have some money. This year, things are happening!!!
Okay, here is the quizzes.

What Infectious Disease Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Malaria

You are one persistent, annoying son-of-a-bitch and your motto is 'if at first you don't succeed; try, try again'. Once you get a foothold in someone's life, you're loathe to let go and honestly, after a few feeble attempts, most of those poor suckers just give up. You're easily distracted by a good beverage, although you prefer beer to mixed drinks. There's something about tonic water that just turns you off. You may not always be at the forefront of everyone's minds, but you never get completely ignored, either--you're too irritating.

Malaria

70%

Common Cold

60%

Bubonic Plague

55%

Necrotizing Fasciitis

35%

Cholera

35%

Gonorrhea

35%

Gangrene

30%

Amoebic Dysentery

20%

Syphilis

10%

Influenza

What kind of human are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Pop Star Princess

You appreciate the finer things in life like American Idol and Ashley Simpson. You like to have fun, because who doesn't like a fun girl! Life is all about choices and if you choose to do nothing with your life, then good for you! Don't let others get in the way of your dreams sista!

Pop Star Princess

39%

Fascist Dictator

36%

Dirty Hippie

36%

Baby Jesus Lover

25%

No good dirty poop eater

What Pokemon Are You Today?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Slugma

Your a Slugma!You love to stay in cave and magma pits!

Slugma

83%

Wailmer

50%

Chinchou

33%

Hopip

33%

Bellsprout

33%

What does your birth month say about you
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as May

MAY Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding Good imagination. Good physical. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Totally Best person >you'll ever meet!..your the most craziest that you'll ever meet!!

May

100%

AUGUST

November

OCTOBER

December

SEPTEMBER

April

June

january

FEBRUARY

March

JULY

What Famous German Leader Are You
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Frederick William II

You are Frederick William II. Regarded as the most brilliant failure on history, William had a nasty reputation as having the worst luck in Europe, he was even exiled out of his own country and shot by his imperial guards. He also owned a vast collection of uniforms and costumes. He wore different ones for each occasion, often 4 or more a day. This habit made people joke about it, saying that when eating plum pudding the emperor would dress as a British Admiral.

Frederick William II

55%

Otto von Bismark

40%

Adolf Hitler (FÃ¼hrer)

40%

Adolf Hitler

40%

Frederick The Great

30%

Guten Tag

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:21:11 GMT

Well, I'm on probation now for Dante. Its so he can have Bee again, in our family, maybe. Just two weeks of living 'on my own'. So far Dante's ben here the whole time so its been great. Its just like every other day only Rupi is grumpy at me and Dante for being together. I guess he really doesn't like Dante...maybe Dante was right about that.
Either way, this is how things are. I am in a little place on my own- and I'm sick with a cough. It was just a cold for about a half a day and now its some horrible cough that I can't seem to shake. I feel like I can't breathe half of the time- but I'll be ok, seeing as I always am some how. Dante doesn't beleive it much with how he constantly insists I get tested again and again for a relapse...but he'll learn. Twice was enough!

That aside- Christmas is soon! We had our thanksgiving just the other day and now I need to think about shopping for my lovey on the biggest American holiday of the year! I don't know what to get him...really, though I can figure something out, for sure. And I don't know if I'm allowed to buy for Bee either...I'd like to, really. I feel so guilty for what I did- I wish they could see this...I never meant harm.

-sigh- Oh well. Pushing onward! Busy times ahead! I'll try and write more again soon hopefully before christmas hits.

Spinning out of control

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 21:14:24 GMT

Well I have a short bit of time here to write about a lot of things. So I'll just try and keep it short and to the point. Dante and I are together again, after his whole prison ordeal for taking heroin. We lost our house, and I had been with Rupi but now we're together and were living at Karma's house. He's a drug dealer- but we left, and now we are living with Ed who is a friend of Dante's. Thats all I know about him really- I don't know where he met him.
I had a good job for a couple of days too- a flower job, I stood around and arranged flowers all day, and sneezed. But, I got moved by one of the managers to the back after some old woman got mad at me. And then I had to sort garbage, which I guess Dante got mad about. I lost my job because of him...I don't think he wants me to work. He went in and punched my boss, and I got fired. This was all after Dante didn't wake me up for work like he always had and well...I guess I need to get up on my own. Otherwise he's not going to let me work. And he can't work- he's sick right now, again. I don't know whats wrong, he told me he has the flu and that he had some routine test a few days ago...but he's not right. He hasn't been 'right' since. So neither of us are working, and well...Bee is in the hospital. The little boy we had been watching. Well, apparently when I gave him to the social worker one night, it turns out that that wasn't the social worker. Now the /real/ social worker told me I have to probably stay away from Bee. And Bee is probably going to be staying with Dante, so I have to move out! I can't let Bee just go...and Dante loves him so much, anybody could see it. So I can't do that to either of them. The guy said if we lived in a apartment building I could live next door...but I couldn't be in the house with Dante if Bee was there. I don't know what I'm going to do...right now I"m at a loss. I feel so miserable and I don't want to be alone but thats just selfish of me I know it. So I should just do what verybody wants...because I don't want to be selfish- I want to be a good person I just don't know how to do anything right. I have to go talk to Rupi...or some other officer now...if I want a chance at ever changing this situation. This means I'll probably have a criminal record...and then I'll never get a job. I have no talent, so I can't just go sing and dance and make lots of money like Dante. I'm just some stupid fat person who just...sits around and does nothing but make everything worse. I know it because it happens...every day. I really wish I just died back then when I should have...I know I shouldn't be alive, and its for a reason. I'm just in the way- thats all. Dante doesn't really need me...I wish he did but what he needs is his job, his music, his career and his friends and then Bee. I just don't fit in with any of this...I really don't. Maybe I'll just run away and never come back...I wasn't doing anybody any harm when I lived alone and I just went to school...which is what I really want to do anyways. But with a criminal record with kids why would they take me back into a school? I'm so stupid! I'll never be anything!

Our third anniversary never happened this year...I don't think Dante wants to marry me anymore. I don't think he ever did.

Because you keep stealing your co-workers lunch from the fridge, you'll be cursed with life on the run.
'How will you be cursed and why?' at QuizGalaxy.com

As a child...	You were dressed up as the wrong sex

How did it mess you up?	You go to support group meetings just because
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

</td>
</table>
<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Your life most resembles:
General Hospital

Your life mostly resembles those of the characters on General Hospital. Although you can be melodramatic at times, you lead a fairly normal life. You love to hear gossip, but you are not much of a spreader. Your friends love you because you are reliable and extra fun to be around.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Its the end of the world as we know it

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 19:48:48 GMT

I've...never been so depressed in my life. I"ve never been so drunk. I've never been so...drunkenly...sick...and miserable. Ugh...I feel awful in every way I possibly could and I just...I honestly want it to end. I just want peace, all I ever wanted was peace.
Everything bad happens...all at once and now I'm just lost as to wh at to do. I know Dante hates me. After all that time keeping me in the house 'for my own good'- he just randomly started using heroin again. He beat people up, got thrown in jail and then he sold me for his stupid drug and...he said after he got out that it wasn't true but then if it wasn't true how come the guy who 'bought' access to me came to me and told me that? He did bad things to me...he touched me and he hurt me and all Dante can do is deny the fact that it happened. Now he wants to talk about it...and honestly...I don't think I can. Thinking about it makes me sick.
We lost our house...we lost Bee, or I did...I blame myself there..fully. Hell, I blame myself for all of this. If I died and didn't cost money because I had cancer then Dante would still have his dream house and his kid and everything he wanted. I am just in the way...I know I am. He doesn't love me...he can't. I am thinking of going home...just going home to Germany. I'll live out my life with my mother and...just be alone. I wanted life to work out so bad...I wanted so much and I still do but it seems so impossible...we're compleatly broke and I can't help...I can't do anything. I'm here in a clinic now again because I guess I got sick. I was just drinking to try and relax and I woke up here. Dante's not here...he's nowhere...I bet he left me. Again. I bet he sold me to science...my body. He hates me. And he'll hate me even more once he finds out what Dave did...and how ruined I am.I think he wants to know so he has a good reason to use to just leave...I don't want him to go though...I don't want it to end. I"m going to die the second it does...I can pretend like I'll be okay but I know I won't be. I know I'm not. I just keep thinking about ending it...the only thing keeping me alive is Dante. He's the only real reason I do all I do anymore...
I love life...or...well I did...but how can I if this is how it will be?

<td align="center">Your walk is:
Full of Determination

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Flikkin - a gallon of intelligence - a scoop of romance - 1 1/2 cups of friendliness Blend together quickly and serve.
'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com

<td align="center"> Flik --
[adjective]:

Sexually stunning

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>